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Cinderella-hime

Female of many fandoms~
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I lost my core membership...
I love with now 2 addicts, still my mom who gambles and now my sister who does drugs and heroin and other heavy shit. She lies about everything, has stole over a hundred dollars worht of stuff from just me alone. She has stolen from each family member and it breaks my heart. I have been dealing with for almost 2 years and I wish I was dead almost.I have more and more sucidal thoughts and tendencies. It's tearing my family apart and I wish I was away from it or a way I could stop it....but nothing is stopping it and it hurts me so bad. My sister has a bf now and it seems to only get worse...She has no job and her lisense is suspended and still continues to drives other cars scott free.

Other the years I have gained weight and its honestly not that bad...at least I don't think its bad. My dad thinks its bad and it seems like my friends are upset with it. I feel as though I have to be tiny to be appreciated and it fuckin hurts so bad ! I have no self confidence at all anymore, it just seems to crumble as the days go by. Everyday I cry more and more, cuz I alway thinks if my friends end up leaving me over my physical body...I have hated myself for everything thing that I am...I am constantly getting picked on asking if im pregant when I'm clearly not. I litterly just want to die or destroy myself over and over again.

 Since I moved with my family contacting with friends seems so much harder than it should be...everyone is living their lives but me or half the time it just seems like I been been replaced in some way or form. So now it seems harder I haven't seen much last year and barely this year...heall even texting because harder and harder...

This is my depressing life now...this how its been but more and more bull shit happens with each passing day...
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Update 6-9-15

3 min read

Just a small update on life, still no internet, still no tv except for the kitchen rabbit room.  I still hangout at my library and play games and rent mangas, games, etc. I can only update when I can which still sucks and it drives me crazy but I guess its life. Hell at this point I'm happy everyone is alive and I still have a home to live in...


I'm hoping either before or after my birthday I will start up an esty business decorating 3ds cases and iphone and other cases. It's more money to put into and I know...I just want to try to make some extra money and what not. 



How life is going i'm constantly frazzled and depressed and short circuited it feels...I'm feeling so lonely and depressed since it feels like I can't do anything with my life. I'm constantly on edge and it feels i'm going deeper and deeper...I can't go out I can barely go out or do anything. 


I'm hoping things will get better I can't be any worse than what it is....it HAS to get better.




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Since I'm at my sister's house waiting for her to get home and cat sitting I figured I would update.

Life has been the same just trying to take it one step at a time. That's all I can really do honestly.

Anime central is next month I'm so excited for it too ! My one and only vacation and I can't contain myself :3

My father's birthday is this Saturday he will turn 78. I'm so happy I get to spend time with my dad everyday.

That's all I want to update about really xD . I will post my art work soon ish, hopefully.





Skin CSS by dioxa01
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Gallery | +Watch ME | Note ME

I figured I would update my god awful journal from last time. I honestly have no idea for the house situation anymore. I'm just becoming more and more accepting that if it happens it happens and nothing can change it. But I need to not feel bad everyday which is difficult.

I'm getting more excited our dogs surgery is soon so she won't get eye infections anymore so I'm happy about that. Although my sister is always broke so I will be paying her half since I doubt she will be helping.

 Also my father's birthday is April 18 he will be 78 and I'm so happy to have my dad in my life. He really is the best so I'm so excited for his birthday.

Also Anime central is coming may 15th but this year AngelOfSadness01 is going this year so I'm happy !! Although my lineup is small I'm still excited for this !!

I'm drawing more though no internet at the house still. I also rented dvds from the library to make me slightly busy.  Clannad and sailor moon and a wiiu game <3.

I want to make a happier journal then my terrible one. Want to hear me Ramble and possibly semi update ?
www.facebook.com/clairehorlach… Here's my mini art page :D

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Due to my family situation with money and what not at my house we have lost all internet, phone and tv. We are living off generic rabbit ears and using our 4gs on our cells that's about it, i work and constantly just go home. I asked my sister to take me to the library so I tried interacting with other people playing games,it was actually fun and I enjoyed it so much. Yuuko Laughing Icon  We are so behind on money we really can't afford much else,it makes me constantly panic mode all the time. I been playing my 3ds or on my cell or drawing that's all of my life.

Now here's the really bad news~~ supposedly between 1-3yrs we might loose our house due to my mother not paying taxes on our house for 3yrs...my mother says not to worry about it but I can't fully believe that honestly. I'm terrified for my father, my mom, the animals hell my whole family will be separated, and i have no diea how to deal with it.I'm going to be divided from my friends and that makes me upset but I can't guarantee anything just yet. Due to financial reason i might not be able to go to anime central which i really want to go . So I will save up each and every week for my room at least. Now utterly terrified I can't afford new cosplay...it's not the end of the world but it is pretty upsetting.

If I ever update, l will be at my library and I will update.  I'm sorry for not finishing or unable to update my secret santa projects. Please forgive me, i honestly didn't know my service was going to shut off. I'm so sorry. I'm constantly freaking out financially now and I'm scared...I want to cry almost every day.


Cross your fingers, things gets better, I really need, like really need....thanks everyone...


CSS & design by harleshinn
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Featured

Depressing af update... by Cinderella-hime, journal

Update 6-9-15 by Cinderella-hime, journal

A mini life update by Cinderella-hime, journal

Update 3-31-2015 by Cinderella-hime, journal

Might vanish some more, sorry guys !! by Cinderella-hime, journal